Request Denied...

Officially an unofficial lab rat.... I was in the lab on a trial basis. But this didn't come so easy.

That research course I had taken had grabbed me, spun me around, flipped me about and spit me out and I couldn't wait to do it all again... good 'ole Cell Culture lab. At the beginning of that course I couldn't believe all the neuronal activity going on in my brain. It was as if someone had turned on a light switch that I didn't even know existed that included unlimited amounts of fireworks. This stuff was amazing! How had I not known about this? How had I almost not taken this course? I became so intrigued that I built up the courage (from where I haven't a clue) to ask my professor if I could do research in their lab without any prior experience. They looked at me like I had a third eyeball and declined my request. After all, I wasn't the star pupil of her previous Genetics course and was struggling to maintain a B.... OK... a B-, but something struck me about that kind of lab work and I hoped over the next few weeks she would reconsider.

As I was walking down the hall one day before Christmas break 2008, I heard a voice call out to me down the hall. "Michelle" in a loud boisterous voice, "Why do you want to do research in my lab?" I couldn't believe she had even remembered my name, never mind that I wanted to do research. I tried to give my best answer within the one millionth of a second I had and replied "Because I think it's interesting". How much more of a generic answer could I have given?!!  But her reply was priceless and cracks me up every time I think about it. "Well, I feel sorry for you, so come to our lab meeting next week and we'll get you a project". I couldn't believe it!! I was in!! Even if she did feel sorry for me.... and that is where everything really began.

Looking back, in reality, I had much more to offer than I even realized myself. She later told me how she had noticed how well I dealt with other people and that I had a knack for teaching others and to her this meant I would do well in her research group filled with many multiple personalities, all of which taught me many valuable life lessons down the road. After proving myself that semester, I went on to graduate with my BS in Biology as well as an MS in Molec Bio in her lab while continuing the research I had been introduced to. This was the most amazing door opening experience ever, and has allowed me to start a whole new chapter in my academic career.

Along this journey I discovered many things on my own as a Graduate student that I should have known as an Undergrad. I hope to share these very valuable insights to all future Scientists in the STEM fields who are unsure of where they are going, how they are getting there, and what are they going to do after they arrive.

UV Disco Light and an Ethanol Induced Haze

Gandhi knew what he was talking about when he uttered "You must be the change you wish to see in the world". Always one to see a glass half full, even I thought that task was too enormous of an undertaking.  After all, Gandhi was telling me to get my shit in gear if I ever wanted to make any kind of difference, and who was I to tell him "No". I was afraid that if I ignored this bit of personal advice that was engraved upon a piece of stone wall art above my head, that Gandhi himself would knock it down and knock me out cold. So, here I am with many changes made, and many many more to go.

As a Scientist, where was I to start?  After all, I wasn't even suppose to be a Scientist. According to my 10 year plan I'm suppose to be in a coroner's lab somewhere determining methods of death while finishing up my residency at the County Coroners Lab.  How did I end up here? A Molecular Biologist pursuing a PhD? At NYU? What have I gotten myself into? Darn you you 3 credit research course that I needed to graduate. If I hadn't needed you, my 10 year plan would be on track. But instead, I opted for the life of a lab rat in the blink of an eye. You and your seducing white lab coat and disco blue UV light shining upon thine lab bench.  That 3 credit course I needed to graduate is what started the downward...no.... upward spiral that has become my scientific life. Sound intriguing? In its own way, we (Science & I) have a love/ hate relationship. I love Science and some of its family members (Chemistry/ Biochemistry/ Biostats) hate me. But we manage to keep it together.

If I wanted to be a true Scientist, how was I to become one? Does having a degree make you one? I was left in a hungover haze from the overwhelming particles of Ethanol floating in the air while making like Cinderella in my lab. And this is where the journey began....